Master of Hygiene

Well, that's the end of that.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 17:52:09 GMT

I never intended any offense, and I'm sorry that people have taken this as a personal affront.

I started off this shtick with the explicit goal of making it a random distribution of hygiene products. Until recently, I'd heard only humorous or confused responses, and the general impression I got was that people were amused.

At the most recent Con, I took a "request" and executed it poorly. This was the only time I'd taken a request more specific than "Make sure you visit the game room" and after it was done, I'd already decided it would be the last. I wasn't happy with how it went or how I felt about it afterwards.

My first response to the recent threads on LJ was "How can I rework this so I'm not making people feel attacked?" I never intended to offend anyone or hurt their feelings. The whole point was to poke fun at a fandom stereotype and get people to laugh.

I wanted people to chuckle, not wonder if someone else thought they smelled bad, or feel like they were being singled out.

I contemplated restricting the Ninja to leaving materials on tables and displays, perhaps putting up some signs around the con reminding folks of the 5-2-1 rule. I figured if I stopped handing soap and such to specific individuals people wouldn't feel attacked and everyone could enjoy the gag.

I also started thinking of how I could apologize for inadvertently making others feel attacked. Being somewhat clueless socially, I hadn't realized there were such negative reactions to the Hygiene Ninja.

Then I saw the comments were people were threatening physical violence. I realized that some people had decided that physically attacking me was an appropriate response to being handed a bar of soap.

I lost all interest in reworking the gag. This absurd notion has gotten out of hand, and I have no interest in wondering if someone is going to kick me from behind or punch me in the face because they think a random bottle of shampoo constitutes a personal attack. While there are a lot of things for which I'd be willing to put my personal safety at risk, running around a Sci-fi convention dressed as a Ninja isn't one of them.

Until now, I'd never backed down from a bully in my life. This resulted in a lot of fights growing up, but I'd always stood my ground and gone toe to toe with whomever challenged me. I wonder if it's a sign of growing up that I'm backing down now because someone decided to raise his fist and threaten to bloody my lip.

(Cross posted to the Arisia LJ community.)

The recent issues raised about the Ninja

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:12:45 GMT

Those who read the Arisia Community have probably seen the recent thread about appropriateness of the Hygiene Ninja's activities. Specifically, there are people who believe that the Ninja's activities are cruel, bullying and humiliating for those receiving the soap, shampoo or what have you that's being distributed.

This debate arose from an incident where I was asked to give a specific individual some soap, and I mentioned to two other con attendees that I had to dart off as Ops had sent me after "That guy."

I'd thought the two people I was speaking to knew who I was under the mask, so I thought I was making a side comment to friends. Unfortunately, the people in question did NOT know who I was, and took my comments as having come from a random stranger to random strangers.

In retrospect, I'm not sure it makes a difference. It was still an inappropriate comment for me to make.

As the Hygiene Ninja, I will not accept any requests more specific than "Be sure to hit the Gaming Room." The one and only time I did has caused far more problems than I, or the requester, anticipated.

The Hygiene Ninja routine is not intended as a form of bullying, nor is the intention to single people out. When asked, I've tried to state that I'm not trying to say "You smell bad" by handing you bar of soap. The prospect of taking "requests" or offering "NinjaGrams" had been raised when I first started the Hygiene Ninja routine a few years ago. I'd discarded the idea at the time, deciding it was too personal, and too likely to get me a fat lip. I should have stuck to that decision.

Feelings about the Ninja are mixed, and some of the comments I've read are from people who think targeting specific individuals is part of the Ninja routine. It is not. I've specifically targeted an individual once, and I will not repeat the error.

I want to continue doing the Hygiene Ninja shtick, but it's clear that I need to make some changes to that shtick. The exact extent and nature of those changes is to be determined, and I want to speak with some of the Con Chairs to get their input.

The point of this post is solicit recommendations on what those changes should be. What are your recommendations for how I should change the shtick?

(All Comments are screened.)

Blog Spam

Mon, 06 Feb 2006 13:47:17 GMT

Well, some jackass has decided to start posting anonymous blog spam to this journal.

I won't speculate as to why the jackass is wasting my time. Suffice it to say they're using spoofed Whois data for their domain, and I've edited all the comments so they're screened. I may have to disable comments all together for the time being. I don't consider this a major issue, as I only really use this blog when preparing for another run, which so far happens once every couple of years.

Anyway, I'm tired of Blog Spam, especially from porn sites.

Hygiene Ninja FAQ (Updated Jan 2007)

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 23:25:40 GMT

I'm adding this top level post to answer what are turning out to be common questions:

Stickers:
Putting a hygiene ninja sticker on the items being distributed is optional. Just be sure to identify yourself as a Hygiene Ninja when passing out unlabeled items.

Special Requests:
You can NOT special request a particular person receive a visit from the Ninja. This was considered during Year One, but the idea was dropped. The likelihood of getting punched in the nose increases dramatically the closer one gets to a "Smell 'O Gram from table 5." It's far safer for hygiene products to be distributed in a random manner.

Requesting the Ninja visit a particular room IS appropriate. This is particularly true of the Game Room. It's OK because a specific individual is not being targeted.

The Hygiene Ninja is not an official Con event. As a result, there are no facilities or drop points that can be use for arranging for the above mentioned "Smell 'O Gram." This logistical issue is another reason special requests are not encouraged.

What about the clean?
Yes, some items should be distributed to people who don't smell. It's less insulting if anyone could receive a visit from the Ninja. Besides, sometimes there just aren't any smelly people about, and it's a fun gag regardless of the target's personal odor.

Dental Care:
Yes, toothpaste, mouthwash and tooth brushes are appropriate.

Douche and the like:
Just about any hygiene product is appropriate. The only exceptions thus far are feminine hygiene products. This exception exists for several reasons. Even something with a floral scent can be distributed to guys but douche can't. There are debates about the wisdom of using some kinds of feminine hygiene products.

Condoms
In 2006 and 2007 the Ninja distributed condoms in addition to soap, shampoo and mouthwash. This will not be continued in 2008. While the argument can be made that condoms are hygiene products, they got in the way of the gag. They share the Douche problem mentioned above, in that they are not universally distributable. Some people are allergic to Latex, and there were some people who were clearly not comfortable receiving condoms during the 2007 convention.

Ninja Nookie:
In the highly unlikely event that you are propositioned while acting as an Auxiliary Hygiene Ninja, conduct yourself as is appropriate for your relationship status and personal moral code. Acting as a Ninja does not preclude other activities. That said, it would be downright silly if a Hygiene Ninja did not have the appropriate protection. For example, as I'm married and NOT Polly, I'll be behaving myself.

Because someone said I should

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 22:58:43 GMT

Because a redhead told me to post this:

To Join me in my Mission:

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:43:24 GMT

While mighty in the arts of Wash-Foo, I am but one soldier in the battle against BO and grime. Thus, I am recruiting minions for the upcoming Con.

If you will be attending the 2006 Arisia, you may become a minion of the Hygiene Ninja.

Minions may perform many tasks.

Provide Soap: Small Sample sizes are preferred. If you make soap and wish to have samples distributed, feel free to contribute that as well.

Be an Axillary Ninja: Do you have, or can you fabricate a Ninja costume? It doesn't have to be very convincing. Heaven knows mine isn't. All you must do is conceal your identity. Black Clothing, a Ninja like Mask, and some way to carry your weapons (Hygiene Products) are all you need.

Provide a Quick Change Room: Not all Ninjas are staying at the con, and thus need a place to change out of their day clothes and into their Ninja Gear. We also need a place to store the Hygiene products that have not yet been distributed.

Label Soap: If soap is provided, we'll want to put a Hygiene Ninja label on it, so the person receiving the item knows from whom it came.

If you're intersted ina helping in any way (Not just the tasks mentioned above) then post here. The posts are screeneed, so only I, the Master Hygiene Ninja, will see them.

Edit: Some Ninja I am. I'd thought I'd set the comments to be screened, but clearly they weren't.

They're screened now.

It Begins

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:28:57 GMT

Hello All. The Hygiene Ninja Here.

Some of you may remember my appearances at Arisia a couple of years ago. I came in, distributed some soap and deodorant, and darted out.

I was, shall we say, indisposed, last year, but an auxiliary Hygiene Ninja made an appearance to keep the tradition alive.

This year's Arisia will once again be visited by yours truly, the original Hygiene Ninja!

No one knows where I will strike (Although a few visits to the game room are a given)

Remember, you must get at least ONE shower for every 24 hours you're at the con. Those who claim you only need "A quick rinse on Friday" to be "Good for the weekend" are WRONG, and will be visited by: